I feel like I need to escape, I need to run away, I need to be anywhere that is not here. I need to free myself from this oppressive state of mind which is slowly eroding away at me. I need to get away from what is making me feel this way which is… nothing.

I have nothing to run from. I have nowhere to run to. There is nothing in my life which warrants me to feel the way I do. No. I have an amazing life. Everything is good and there is no reason why I should feel so blank and numb and helpless. I hear my name in the house and I instantly drop. I don’t wait for the context or explanation. I’m convincing. There is no reason. There are no reasons. People… Situations… Circumstance - agh.

Ramble ramble, that’s all I ever seem to do.

Again with the self-diagnosis but I think I get so troubled when I spend too long with nothing to do. That is when I spend too long inside my own mind. I think too much and I become troubled, so very troubled.

I just need to keep reminding myself that there is nothing to be troubled about.